What’s getting in your way?

Get Unstuck

We can be our own worst enemy, or, we can be our own best friend. Sometimes a little of both.

When looking at long term goals and achieving satisfaction, whether it’s in career, relationships, creativity, or some other area, we can be our own roadblock. We are sailing along, performing our action steps and doing our due diligence, then suddenly we lose sight of the big picture and start letting things get in our way.  Maybe it’s a sense of obligation to others. Maybe it’s the fear of success. Whatever the reason, if you recognize this as a pattern, how do you handle it? How do we find ways to put ourselves first without feeling selfish?

Self-care is not selfish. Self-preservation is not selfish. Treating yourself with kindness is one of the best things you can do for yourself so that you can be more giving to others.

Here are a few tips for nurturing a more positive mindset:

Let it go

Negative self-talk

Treating yourself with kindness begins with letting go of your negative self-talk. Listen for it. When you hear your inner voice go into that negative space, find a way to turn that thought into something positive. You are awesome! Let that be your mantra.

Compare and Despair

It’s so easy to look around you and feel like a failure when you compare yourself to others. Whether it’s career-related or weight loss, tell yourself, “where you are right now is perfectly okay.”  Keeping that single point of focus on achieving your goals will help you get unstuck and help pave your own path and find your best solutions. Great ideas only come to an open mind.

Fear of Change

Think about how things are going for you. Think about patterns you are in. Are you stuck? Well then maybe those patterns aren’t quite the right direction — for you! Think like George Costanza — do the opposite of what you normally do. You may have to get into uncomfortable territory to make a breakthrough.

Turn it around

Be Grateful

I’ve said it before — a little gratitude goes a long way for change and personal development. Developing a grateful mindset automatically creates a more positive space for change to happen. Find something to be grateful for in every single bad experience — your own personal silver lining.

Find Your Tribe

Surround yourself with people who support you and uplift your spirits. They will help you find your way and your confidence.

Clear Your Mind

Find ways to incorporate quiet time into your day for meditation, mindful breathing, and to quiet your mind too. Nothing lowers stress levels like clearing your mind and letting the physical tension drift way with some nurturing and calming activities.

Random Acts of Kindness

Do something kind for another person. Kindness is infectious and has a profound effect on your mood and mindset.

Get Unstuck.

You can do this. It really takes discipline to get in touch with yourself and understand the things that are holding you back. Sometimes a simple shift in thinking is what does the trick.

Share some of your strategies in the comments.

Life is not binary

Adobe Spark-8

There’s this concept in my coaching program called “the magic of mirroring.” When listening to clients, there’s often this inner dialogue going on where you completely relate to what they are saying, and as you go on in dialogue providing guidance, you hear yourself answering your own struggles. Speaking with one of my “practice” clients, we got into a conversation about being good or being bad.  Why is it that we take this all or nothing approach to so many things? We say, “I eat really well, except when I am bad.” We let this notion of being “good” allow us to indulge in “bad” things as a reward, or we punish ourselves for being “bad,” by spiraling into more “bad” behaviors.

Life isn’t that clear cut. And for people who have struggled with weight loss, it’s time for a new way of thinking. We’ve been shamed into thinking that we are being bad if we make a poor food choice or if we chose to sleep in over going to the gym. It’s time to listen to that voice in your head and tell it to STFU.

This a-ha moment I had made me very conscious of my inner monologue and how often I think of things in terms of good or bad. I have rephrased my self-talk. I only choose food that will nourish me because that’s just how I eat now. I choose to eat this way because I am proud of my success and I don’t want to go back to my old way of life.

Is it all butterflies, unicorns, and roses?  Hell no, but the awareness of that negative self-talk is the best answer to defeat it when things are tough. Weight loss after gastric bypass surgery isn’t just automatic. Well, part of it is — in the beginning, but there’s a lot of work that goes into making smart food choices, getting proper nutrition and supplementation, showing up for exercise, and creating consistently healthy patterns with sleep and stress management. I hear myself telling fellow patients that it’s a marathon, not a sprint, and I stop and listen to myself. Health coaching is the thing that will keep my inner evil voice quiet and will keep me focused on my own health and wellness.  And that, my friends, is good.